Senior Year College would be fun, they said

For the past two semesters of college, I was in a roller coaster. It sounds cliche but it was really like this. Sometimes, I would think about giving up because the problems that I was facing were overwhelming. It didn’t even sink in that we were already in our semester break. It felt surreal that we didn’t have any school work to do. When the second semester rolled in, it didn’t sink in that this was already the final battle whether we can graduate this June.

 

Hanging out with Friends

Friendships are indeed one of this planet’s double-edged sword. It can either make or break an individual. In my case, I have been through some betrayals and hurt that no amount of time could heal. At the same time, I have met people who are worth staying with until my skin wrinkles and all my hair turn white.

Today, it was somewhat a spontaneous get-together. We crashed at a friend’s place since there was a kitchen we could use to cook and ate dinner together. Talked about random shit and watched a movie. We could not stay long because we have to go to school early tomorrow.

Regardless, it was a time well spent.

I just wanted to post this out and tell people that it might take time to truly find people but those who stay with you even if you have terrible mood swings and badmouth each other like bullies, they are for keeps.

Maybe I’m clinically depressed?

For the past 11 years, I have been harming myself in different forms.

At first, I would bang myself to the wall when I’m sad because I didn’t know how to manage the emotions. Then I started to punch myself, bite myself, pull out my hair. It reached to the point where I started to cut myself but I stopped after some time because I was caught. Then I turned to smoking. Though it didn’t last long since I live in a dormitory full of health-conscious people.

In all honesty, I am terrible at managing my emotions..,

Cute? more like TWISTED

Madoka-SpaceInitially, I was wary of watching Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magica because of the title Mahou Shoujo (literally Magical Girl). It was my prejudice to the “shoujo” genre that stopped me from immediately watching the series: I didn’t like how predictable the shows were usually are. Then I found out that Urobuchi Gen was the writer of the series which made me rethink that I should watch the series. At that time, I already knew about the notoriety of his stories (Saya no Uta anyone?).  Though I was not yet that convinced so I looked into the reviews and criticisms of the people who already watched the show. What made me skeptical was how short the series was — 12 episodes and I thought that perhaps the ending would be hanging.

 

However…

 

I was wrong!

 

This anime teaches you that do not judge an anime by its title.

 

You shouldn’t take Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magica as its face value. The first time I watched the anime version, I was like, wow what an amazing friendship (in its own twisted way)… but then I re-watched the series, though this time the movie condensation and I realized that this anime has more to it than friendship.

There are several allusions to Goethe’s Faust and other literally figures in the series. I will not make a detailed post here because there are already posts about this in the internet particularly the wikia dedicated to the series.

 

Despite the fantastical setting, there is a sense of reality within the show. Particularly the “zero-sum equation” or the equilibrium of karma. For the girls to have their wishes come true, they must work on it… well something like that. Though the main overtones in the series are hope and despair.

 

Anyhow, this anime is a gemstone. Not all viewers are inclined to think deeply into a show but Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magica is a very thought-provoking series. It’s one of those shows that you will enjoy watching over and over again until your brain cells are very exhausted.

Shakugan no Shana

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I have been into Japanese otaku culture for some years already.
Among the many light novels that I have read, Shakugan no Shana has a special place. It was one of my first light novels and as well as anime.
Also, I love how the relationship of the main characters develop especially when the series was ending.