Its not exactly a valid excuse but university deadlines have been eating my time. I’m almost finish with the riddle stories compilation. I won’t put any promises when I can finish it but I’m already at the last part.
Most of the stories are interesting in such a way that I haven’t read much of this kind of writing style and genre.
Anyhow, have a good day!
For the past 11 years, I have been harming myself in different forms.
At first, I would bang myself to the wall when I’m sad because I didn’t know how to manage the emotions. Then I started to punch myself, bite myself, pull out my hair. It reached to the point where I started to cut myself but I stopped after some time because I was caught. Then I turned to smoking. Though it didn’t last long since I live in a dormitory full of health-conscious people.
In all honesty, I am terrible at managing my emotions..,
I just need a place to vent these feelings right now.
I don’t know when this started but I started to have this social anxiety; no it is not severe enough that I actually lock myself inside my room or house. It’s just mild enough that I stop myself from socializing with others. :O
Also, I don’t know if I’m reading too much into this but I am so fucking sensitive to rejection. Hmph.
There are these friends who are going to an outing this weekend. I decided to take some initiative to ask them if I wanted to join but then I felt that I wasn’t wanted to, in good grace, I backed out.
Even now, it still hurts. That kind of dull pain in your chest and when you want to cry until you fall asleep? That kind of pain.
I know my place in the social hierarchy of my school; but I thought that these people were “friendly” people but I guess I was mistaken.
NO matter how many times I tell myself that I will stop from getting close to other people because it will just hurt, I still do and what did I get from not following my own advice? HURT, that was what I got.
I hate feeling lonely; for me being lonely means that despite being surrounded by a crowd, no one ACTUALLY SEES me. It’s just too disheartening.
Number three in THE THRITY STORIES CHALLENGE.
Since my tablet was just recently fixed, it took me longer to finish reading this story.
Currently my tab, Moriarty (yes, I named after the nemesis of Sherlock Holmes), is at the service center. I can get it between Tuesday to Thursday. I am very much behind my self-imposed Reading Challenge. With school resuming this Monday, things are going to get hectic.